I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
