: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
