The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
