why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
