The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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