I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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