I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
