just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
