true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
