I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
