i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
