This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the day after is always just damage control
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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