Are we in a gay sports bar?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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