If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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