I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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