just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
