My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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