so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
