Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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