then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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