Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize