i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
