The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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