member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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