Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
