but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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