I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
