Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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