i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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