margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
