do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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