so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
