South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
