Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
