she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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