home. puking in laundry basket.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
