So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
