You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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