she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
worst night to have a conscience
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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