i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
