how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
