Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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