At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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