i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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