Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
