I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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