I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
