just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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