dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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