Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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